| so if it's like the last time. this numbing pain will make it all go away very very soon. i'm counting the days... |
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| im gonna end up making the same mistakes i did last year.
i cant do that again.
shes too important for that.
i have given up finally.
a three year crush now in the past.
im still gonna hang out with her and all
but i cant care like.
its just wrong.
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| just to reasure myself that im a fuckup i did something stupid. i have become obsessed with two people over a long period of time. i seem to have been slowly replacing one with the other. wtf is wrong with me. its really bad to be obsessed with these people and i havent told anyone about one of the people. i dont want to fuck anything up so i will shut up now. |
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| but i cannot forget
refuse to regret
so glad i met you
take my breath away
worth all of the pain
that i have gone through
-maroon 5-
*****
no matter how much pain i have felt from all of this shit, i still feel that it was worth it. like april said, she had never seen me that happy before. if somebody wants to come along and me me feel the happiest i had ever been and then randomly take it all away from me i would want to kill them or something. its retarded how i cant be mad about it. i will keep believing that one day i will get what i want and i will be truely happy. i hope all of this pain will be worth it though. im just gonna take a break from feeling anything for anyone as more than a friend. i need to be able to figure out how to deal with things myself and not rely on the love of someone to get me through hard times. thats probably where ive been going wrong.
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| no more emo music for me for a while. im limited to smashmouth, the distillers, rap, radiohead, steriogram, system of a down, quarashi, nirvana, vendetta red, seether and whatever else isnt emo or slow. and the final emo lyrics for now are...
you are a boomerang. youll see. you will return to me.
because if you dont, then my plans would all be ruined.
if you dont, ill start drinking like the weay i drank before.
and i just wont have a future anymore.
-bright eyes-
now those are some true lyrics to me. 5 hours till i get so drunk i do something stupid...again.
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